piece me up

last one standing

2012-01-27T18:13:00.003+08:00

and still not worth.

torn, again.

cos love makes my world go round

2012-01-26T18:56:00.005+08:00

So never mind I'll find someone like the both of you.

Sometimes it lasts in love, though most of the times it hurts instead,

me want me self a Joseph Vincent!

ka chinggg!

2012-01-24T05:40:00.000+08:00

three times in a row.

jackpot!!!

Breathe, Amy!

2012-01-22T12:00:00.000+08:00

just breathe.

it ached for some reasons I cannot explain.

the year of the dragon will be better.

=)

commitments

2012-01-22T09:49:00.000+08:00

time to make 'em than to wait and accomodate empty vessels.

Reality Check

2012-01-14T06:47:00.000+08:00

it's not even worth RM 371. SGD 259 was obviously an overkill even without taking into consideration on all those underlying costs.

money makes the world go round.

Acceptance.

2012-01-09T05:03:00.000+08:00

may it be for or against you, you can never turn back time or live in denial but instead, learn to embrace it and live with it in acceptance.

I'm still struggling with it. definitely not my forte.

2012-01-05T19:39:00.001+08:00

Amy in Fairytale Land.

and so, the nightmare begins.

sigh.

all i want for Christmas...

2011-12-19T20:27:00.002+08:00

2011-12-08T21:19:00.003+08:00

after watching Xia Xue's new youtube vid,

I HAVE DECIDED,

i will adopt the cutest adorable baby Husky or a Holland Lop bunny to be my companion ♥

a commitment that will definitely fill my heart with warmth and joy!

Jason Walker - Down

2011-11-28T22:31:00.001+08:00

you just have to pick yourself up after every fall, brush the dirt off and clean the wound. it might take awhile but it will heal.

daddy's girl

2011-11-28T21:16:00.001+08:00

i can still clearly visualize that very night i bawled my eyes out; it was the second time daddy saw his grown little girl crying because that same boy hurt her feelings.

with a sad frown on his face, he told his little girl, "there is no use crying my girl, what is yours will come back to you in the end."

from then on, he was very lenient towards his little girl, just to ensure that his little girl would be happy once again.

he would watch movies on his lappie every weekend night to stay awake, waiting for his little girl to come home and yet did not complain or mention one bit about those awfully late nights which stretch throughout more than half a year.

he would pretend that he doesn't know about his little girl's misbehavior and let her get away with it.

he took her to Bali where she loved so much the first time she was there. hoping that the the sea waves and tranquil wonders of the underwater world would take away her sorrows and troubles.

he would treat her banana split, her all-time favourite dessert and take her out so she wouldn't feel lonely or confine herself in her room feeling miserable.

throughout the years, all he wanted was the best for his little girl. providing her the things she loves which are in his means.

and i'm blessed for that wonderful daddy, my papa dearest.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!

with love,

may.

2011-11-26T19:24:00.001+08:00

note to self: never ever put your hopes up so high, they always, always never fail to come crumbling down like a massive landslide.

2011-11-22T22:02:00.003+08:00

my heart literally stopped when i couldnt find your profile with the search bar.

at times, i hate how clingy i am to things, how i tend to hold on to any possible bits of denial to comfort myself that there is still a connection somehow.

changes just scares me.

especially loosing people whom i hold very dear to.

it's nearly 4 years now. feels so much like yesterday, anticipating your homecoming this time around, 4 years ago. how we talked about all those wonderful schooling memories we had throughout that Christmas eve.

still missing you.

♥,
姐

Johnny Cash - You Are My Sunshine

2011-11-13T11:29:00.006+08:00

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms

But when I awoke dear, I was mistaken

So I hung my head and I cried

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy

If you will only say the same

But if you leave me and love another

You'll regret it all some day

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

You tole me once, dear, you really loved me

And no one else could come between

But now you've left me and love another

You have shattered all of my dreams

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me

When I awake my poor heart pains

So when you come back and make me happy

I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away.

and then you thought that all the songs you learnt in kindy were of happy cheerful stories.

2011-11-09T20:24:00.002+08:00

muddled. very muddled. much.

i feel like i'm suffocating as these four walls of the earth starts to inch in closer.

i cant even express myself with all these tangled ball of feelings and thoughts.

2011-10-27T21:15:00.002+08:00

Dear Lord,

Please give me strength to go through moments like these again while I try to glue these shattered pieces back into whole yet again.

Please help me learn to be able to love once again in the future without being hurt.

All I have been asking are only those few simple things.

I don't demand for riches, fame nor looks.

I just don't want to be hurt again.

Thank you.

Amen.

have you ever

2011-10-25T20:37:00.002+08:00

been in such a position

that u're so clueless to what your emotions are

like a tangled ball of yarn

you have not the slightest idea on how to decipher it.

but sometimes, all you can do is take a deep breath and tell yourself that whatever it is, you'll have to just trust in God that all is well.

2011-10-21T21:51:00.001+08:00

sometimes, it's best to just let go. no matter how horrible it feels initially, it will get better in time. it always does.

fret not

2011-10-16T08:37:00.000+08:00

there's always somewhere else someone else. we are not bound to be stagnant and tied down to incompleteness.

2011-10-13T20:19:00.003+08:00

cos you put a smile on my face...

♥

2011-09-30T00:17:00.001+08:00

29/09/2011 : worst day ever - wasted efforts, all of 'em.

irreplaceable.

2011-09-23T02:30:00.001+08:00

♥

2011-09-19T21:32:00.001+08:00

dont try. shouldnt try. cos it'll all end up the same.

feeling awful

2011-09-09T09:24:00.000+08:00

cos u can never turn back time to undo the things which u shouldn't had done.

Amy Fong's Thursday

2011-08-14T01:54:00.007+08:00

no, i'm not going to write down a repetitious set of lyrics about the 7 days of the week, what i do on Thursdays and why this particular day of the week is special. neither is this post going to get more than 20 views throughout the existence of this blog for it's educational content and meaningful purpose. (HAHA)

however, i shall not make this post too personal, just my two cents. therefore, ignore-able. lol

**WARNING: boring post ahead.

well, i must admit i'm still very much shielded from the true world out there by my parents, and also partly from my own ignorance, in my own nutshell.

there are so much more things in life to think about, to worry of and to focus on for survival. most of them are provided for and covered by my parents all these years (and still at times), as such i tend to dwell on those little petty things which i turn into major parts of my life through a goldfish's view. i wont say it was all a waste of time, what matters most is the life lessons and knowledge i had gained from it.

like i've said before and will say it again, "Thursday's child has far to go."

a lot of people find it hard to interpret this particular verse of the folk rhyme. whether a Thursday's child will go far (succeed) in life or will lead a life filled with many challenges instead. in my books, the latter. i need to put the extra effort to catch up with the other children, in simple terms - slow learner. i may have the ability to pick up certain skills and learn things just through observation, but most life lessons are never taught in books or hardly discovered by mere observation without acknowledging its existence.

a simple chat from random odd topics tonight turned out to be very thought provoking. how a fine line separates survival from defying principles. a number of these are known to me but never put to practical use or even ever crossed my mind. what i realized is that these are basically very much like the theories and philosophies of Sun Tzu's Art of War. Simple but yet so true, unlike economic theories filled with assumptions. (HAHA)

life is definitely a never ending learning process in which i have learned to find it rather intriguing. ironic isn't it? ^^

though i sometimes do wish i can do better than this pace, not being bounded by that Thursday's spell. LOL

it's Thursday~ Thursday~ gotta get down on Thursday!

~please release me & let me go~

2011-07-29T10:57:00.004+08:00

i know there are quite a number of you out there who wants me back to the island.

but

puh-leassssse, wish me well la...

keep me in your prayers so that I'll finally land myself a decent job okies?

would a scrumptious meal sound appealing enough?

your time and cooperation is very much appreciate.

TQVM =)

xoxo

2011-07-17T00:48:00.003+08:00

mei mei,

i miss you more than anything in the world. i need you. ='(

jie jie.

2011-07-14T23:36:00.004+08:00

Lately,
I have been walking circles in my mind
Waiting in a dream send my loving back in time that i stopped
I cant get off this moment for too long

If i have to go one more night without u I'll be lost
If i have to put one more mile between us it'll be at my cost
How come whenever I'm with you one more moment's not enough
And there's one more bruise in this broken heart

Maybe,
all I need is some California sun
Baby I cant breathe now i know that u're the one
Who has stolen and controling asking for my love

If i have to go one more night without u I'll be lost
If i have to put one more mile between us it'll be at my cost
How come whenever I'm with you one more moment's not enough
And there's one more bruise in this broken heart

Something keeps my heart from falling
Even though I hear you calling
Something's gotta give and let me go
Cos you gotta know

Without you I'll be lost

speak now or forever hold your peace

2011-07-11T22:30:00.008+08:00

it was a dramatic nightmare.

i had a mission - to crash the wedding ceremony of someone specific. (i know it sounds weird, but yeah. it was a nightmare, idk why myself.)

it started out very sudden, i was changing into a stunning gown with simple makeup and hair already done. then as i stepped out, i was already at the wedding reception. the setting and decorations seemed like any other English garden reception, all white and green with flowers and balloons all over. certain details were so real that i could remember them clearly, i was donned in a neat feathered corset dress with a long flowy chiffon bottom in light pink among the other guests who were decently dressed. i knew in my head that it wasnt my wedding but instead it was of these two people whom i know. i was obviously over dressed. something like what you'd see on the red carpet, very dramatic. (HAHA) something like this, but a full-length bottom without the tail version of it:

but what i remembered most was searching frantically for the groom. in the midst of searching, a lady finally approached me, stressing that i must find the groom to talk to him as soon as possible. to add on to the weird drama, i could literally hear MLTR's 25 Minutes playing as i was aimlessly looking around while the rest of the guests paid no attention to me. (it has been ages i last heard any of MLTR's songs ever since i think i was a little girl, singing to their songs in the showers. lol) it felt so stressful and frightening just to look for the groom. as my heart races with each glance of the room filled with a sea of people.

i then suddenly woke up from the fright without even having a single glimpse of neither the groom nor the bride throughout that whole dream continuum. i failed my mission. lol this is probably the first ever non-horror nightmare i've ever had apart from those deaths of family members, childhood friend and loosing my teeth! (no kidding..) though a number of my weird dreams did come true, till to this very day. one of it came true just about half a year ago! =X oh craps. i'm doomed. i might gonna be a wedding pooper. but oh well, at least i'm going to do it in style! it seriously was a helluva fantabulous gown!

so now, any dream interpreters out there who can help solve what mystery that lies behind this horrid nightmare of mine? however the continuing day didnt actually serve up any good news on my table. hmm.. a sign?

if only i didnt know how to heal

2011-06-27T23:56:00.004+08:00

why cant i just continue to hold on and not create any space left for anyone else to come into my life? not having to create that opportunity to be vulnerable again. i rather continue to shed tears for the endless stabbing hurt that i once felt from you and not grow numb to it than to be hurt all over again by another person.
can you continue to hurt me badly so that i wont feel hurt by the other people?

yours truly,
buhney.

2011-06-26T22:49:00.005+08:00

"Everytime I've ever put myself out there, I've gotten hurt. Everytime."

-When in Rome-

no point believing in something unreal.

fairytales dont exist at all. =(

all that's left is to continue crying your sorrows away.

mentally exhausted, physically blistered & emotionally intimidated.

2011-06-15T21:01:00.007+08:00

* names mentioned are not real, purely fictional
** mind the brackets

after exactly two torturous demotivating weeks since i've touched down in Singapore, i finally got a call this morning for an interview at 5pm in the evening!

i practically jumped up in shock (well cause i was obviously already halfway dozing off from boredom..), arranged my resumes and supporting certificates and quickly studied the route to get to the company. being away from home makes each journey challenging in terms of planning my time and how to get around, which bus to take, which stop to alight at and which route is actually cheaper. unlike having to know every nook and cranny of the Penang island all at my fingertips, travelling around Singapore has it's trills.

so i hurriedly prepared our daily cabbage soup for dinner (had to diet from the Japanese buffet we had on sunday.. haha will elaborate when i have the time..), showered and put on my best suit (ok no la.. not so bombastic.. just a figure of speech okays..) and headed off to my first ever job interview! (no kidding...)

i left the house at 3pm, came home at 9pm. yes, freaking 6 hours! i was just as shocked.

let me roughly breakdown the timings:

1 hr 30 mins ~ bus, mrt and walking around hunting for the office
1 hr 15 mins ~ waiting...
1 hr 30 mins ~ INTERVIEW
0 hr 15 mins ~ wandering around cos i kinda got lost LOL
1 hr 30 mins ~ change route to go home

ok, maybe i left the house too early but i dont want to give a bad impression right? and besides, i dont really know the place well, better to be safe than sorry. so after an hour and a half of walking, seating, balancing etc. i was finally in front of the sturdy white door, took a deep breathe and opened it. kinda like the work place. though it's just a small office place on the 3rd floor of a heritage-like building; wooden plank floors, old wooden window shutters. it has this modern clean look to it; totally sealed for the air conditioning system, fairly decorated but brightly lit with bigass white lights and also from the sunlight through the windows. nice =)

anyways, i was half an hour early so they made me wait. but to my surprise, after half an hour, Tom* arrived. so then i was thinking, "hmm.. i guess i'm not the only one they were going to interview today." then after 10 minutes upon Tom's arrival, Dick* came through the front door and all 3 of us were escorted to their meeting room. "okay.. so i guess all 3 of us will be interviewed together?" not long till we got comfortable in our seats, Harry* and George* walked in and took a seat respectively. OKAY. so 5 of us in that small meeting room. rose among the torns. awkwardness...

the interview finally commenced. to my surprise, i wasnt even feeling nervous one bit. instead i was anxiously anticipating it due to all the waiting for the 4 Disney princesses to arrive. however, i felt so intimidated once they started introducing themselves. Mulan was a Singapore Uni grad working for about 2 years in an analyst firm, Cinderella was apparently a Malaysian graduate from UM currently working in some chemical firm and at the same time taking up masters in NUS, Sleeping Beauty on the other hand graduated from Canada and currently working at JP Morgan while Snow White hasnt graduated but is currently travelling around the world. from that moment onwards, i felt like a frail withered rose, like a wallpaper while the princesses outshine me in their beautiful shiny perfect dresses.

continuing on to the main point, the interview lasted for an hour and a half!!! it was for the analyst position which is the lowest position available! but then of course, the hierarchy of the company is basically flat with only 4 levels in the entire business. we had to interact with the interviewers through a number of questions about ourselves, tested our knowledge and understanding on the industry and a number of terms widely used in their work, 2 CASE STUDIES to be answered in 15 minutes and presented (luckily we were divided into two groups *phew*), more Q&A and lastly our selling speech. it has been more than half a year since i had actually put my brains to good use and juice them dry. trying to stand out in polished patent heels among them sparkly fine leather oxfords was hard. since i was only wearing a pair of faux fur-ish kitten heels. hahaha!

now if i'm able to make it through the first interview, i'll be receiving 3 MORE CASE STUDIES which i'm suppose to solve and send 'em back in 3 days time via email. then followed by the 2nd and probably the last interview with some of the directors. in short, IF i would have made it to up to the second interview, the job will probably be mine. but then again, i'm having mixed feelings over it. a part of me would of course like to get the position but another part of me just aint ready for it. hahaha!

that, was my first ever job interview experience.

so like, SIAO OR NOT?

VICIOUS when PISSED.

2011-06-13T18:54:00.004+08:00

i'm stressed. i'm pissed. i'm everything your mother asked you to beware of.

why does one have/need to apologize for something that isnt even their fault in the first place? it isnt a problem to begin with! you are NOT HER SLAVE, she DOES NOT OWN you. neither are you voiding a fucking contract. she has no right and it is not your obligation to report to her or even explain or ask permission. so why FUCKING APOLOGIZE?!

like fuck, why am i always caught up in such mess!

i.need.to.scream.

Greetings from the Lion City

2011-06-12T10:43:00.005+08:00

i really want to update my blog, really.

but things now are just so cluttered, complicated, and just indescribable. basically like having bubblegum stuck onto your precious long wavy hair. it's just messy and, sticky. yes, sticky.

so just for a simple short update, it has been about a week and a half since i came to Singapore. Job hunt has so far been pretty demotivating. but i'll just keep my fingers crossed and spend more time on nurturing my patience. nothing comes that easy right?

oh God please let me survive through everything!

love,
May

7 more days

2011-05-26T19:00:00.002+08:00

I'm a bit surprised myself after days of rearranging my thoughts, battling between the sudden urge and rationality, setting aside my emotions and accessing the situation at it's current stage right now.

Things are just definitely not on my side, I can just feel it. Rather than continue to battle with myself over those conflicting feelings I decided to let fate decide for me. They say fate is in our hands but I guess I believe that it's all already 'pre planned' by the big guy up there. God creates chances for us and it's up to us to make choices. But again, the timings aren't right. Another sign that it isn't time I guess?

I can't tell how accurate are these conclusions I've drawn up to but after much thought, put aside the many excuses I make for myself,

I just want to see you just for once before I leave cos i miss that good close friendship we once shared.

Strangers Again.

2011-05-21T17:13:00.002+08:00

"A box of random stuff from a faded period of time when, this stranger was the most important person in my life."

never gonna leave this bed

2011-05-17T17:41:00.000+08:00

I suddenly remembered playing 'insy winsy spider' during most of the mornings.

being thankful

2011-05-05T10:34:00.000+08:00

always appreciate; from the littlest of things to the unexpected. =)

=')

2011-04-04T17:21:00.001+08:00

listening back to song records and also the blunders never fail to make me tear and yet at the same time put a smile on my face.

they were great memories indeed.

the past & the future

2011-02-17T02:23:00.000+08:00

anything can happen and everything happens for a reason. therefore I'm not crossing out any possibilities of being together once again.

Owhh Meee Gawddd!

2011-02-10T13:55:00.010+08:00

helllooooOOOooo world!

it has been donkey years since i've last blogged a proper post!! i know.. my bad.. =P

sooooo let's see now...

it has been 9 months and 21 days since i left uni for good! though sometimes i do miss the laid back life back there where time doesnt seem to have a limit. and ouh! the endless freedom! i could just go where i want, whenever i want. who would deny the benefits of being a student eh?

OUH! epic pic i found! my ghey boys back in first semester HAHAHAHAHA

it has been 4 months and 11 days since i was done with my internship and have been bumming around till now. all my other friends who have long graduated are already busy working respectively and here i am shaking legs and partying ;)

it has been 3 months and 18 days since my trip to Bali and it was awwesome! though the trip this time was a little less adventurous compared to my first time wayyy back when i was in high school? (that was like the greatest diving experience i had!), it was still a good trip, more to sight seeing and to places of interest.

it has been 1 month and 23 days since i fell in ♥ with the Lion City. the dazzling lights and on-the-go lifestyle, me so likey! nothing gets me going like stress does. mad, i know.. =) watch out Singapore! this puny ant is going to make her way through the PIE, AYE or ECP faster than a tortise would. HAHAHAAA

it has been a month and 3 days since i burried the hatched and made peace with, him. only after hearing about Mun Tatt's death, i realised that there isnt any point in holding grudges, the anger, hate and frustration as life is short and unpredictable. what happened in the past was the past, and i guess it happened for a reason. the casualties, i am =')

it has been 2 days since i'm down with fever!!!! it keeps coming and going. wtc wei =.="

time seems to just pass by like it's on fast forward mode.

someone please press 'pause'.

TQVM.

Helloooo 2011!

2011-01-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

I'll find time, I promise! *fingers crossed*

have a great year peeps!!!

<3

Another Notice

2010-12-19T00:52:00.005+08:00

Blogger will be away, again for a week to celebrate this joyous festive season under the dazzling lights and hustle bustle of the Lion City.

Merry Christmas!

♥

authors: masters of delusions

2010-12-18T20:35:00.008+08:00

she may be visually handicapped without her glasses on but she could clearly see the fear in his eyes in that one glimpse. the fear of causing any hurt, trying very hard to minimize every possibility of hurting her that is bound to be there.

the phone rang. for a moment, it felt like an on screen music video of Hinder's Lips Of An Angel.

it's true when they say one can never have the better of both worlds. no one has and no one ever will.

one oblivious, one very dile-drama-ed and one ignorer.

so edward-bella-jacob, so stephanie meyer.

BALI!

2010-12-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

my awesome getaway to Bali can be ~~stalked~~ viewed from my Facebook photo album with detailed descriptions.

(terms&conditions: when i actually do find more time to upload and update 'em lol)

Season 4

2010-11-27T17:06:00.004+08:00

Everyone has definitely got an episode of Gossip Girl drama in one point of their lives.

Can't wait till i get my hands on Season 4!

♥

Dear readers,

2010-11-20T19:02:00.003+08:00

Blogger is adjusting to the imperfections in life.

Hence, she has no time to write nonsense and blog about her very much overdue awesome trip to Bali.

with much ♥
may

Notice

2010-10-24T17:58:00.000+08:00

Blogger will be away for a week to unwind under the sun, surf, sand and sea.

<3

Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch

2010-10-19T20:29:00.003+08:00

been browsing my collection of songs and boy does it brings back memories.. it's like part of our lives are represented by certain songs. you relate to places, people and events in regard to the song you've registered your memory with. picking out childhood memories and all like picking out songs from the jukebox. the wonders of the human senses and the brain.

wake me up when it all ends

2010-10-16T14:45:00.007+08:00

alright... just for a quick update.

i finally finished my stewpit practical training report and submitted it on the last day of submission. yes, i know. i procrastinate A LOT. oh well, no harm having these sudden adrenaline rushes and stressful sleepless nights once in awhile. i may not handle stress well, but apparently stress is good for me. what drives me? stress.

tadaaahh!! i got my name imprinted on it k... lol

but now that my report is done and i dont have a 9 to 5 job, there isnt anything else to distract me =/ well, i know the word 'distract' isnt a good sign, but sadly, yes. i have a whole load of things waiting for me to be done but i may have seem to lost my enthusiasm. tell me if you come across her alright? she's easy to spot - the new lunatic on the street would probably be her. i just cant spot her.

the weekends for the past months had been wonderful, surrounded by people who matters, people who cares. the random hangouts and outings through the nights.

the people who have been supporting & encouraging me in all ways possible through the days =)

but sometimes, in a sea of people, i still feel empty on the inside.

sigh. let's hope tomorrow will be better.

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

Faraway - Nickleback

Ninjutsu

2010-10-11T23:28:00.003+08:00

yes, my practical training report and logbook entries are driving me nuts!

procrastination's a bitch!

ninjaaaaaa...

sigh, i miss playing ballerina-kungfu with my lala mui at work. =(

They're my Ipod,

2010-10-07T12:34:00.002+08:00

i got them on replay...

and they keep me sane.

OMIGOSHSTRESSGILABABIGILAGILABABIGILABABIEMOEMOGILABABI!

dying soul

2010-10-06T09:43:00.000+08:00

I emo stress gila Babi with my practical report and log book entries.

God please help me.

when i've met you,

2010-10-02T03:38:00.003+08:00

I will remind myself that you're a gift and to treasure you and all that you will do as precious gemstones which are hard to come by.

I must remind myself that you need your time alone as well and not bug you to entertain me everyday.

I will learn to give in to you and not bite onto every argument cos it doesnt matter who wins at the end of the day.

I will put you first and revolve my world around you cos it'll make me happy when you are happy, knowing that it will all be worth.

I will try not to vent my anger and frustration on you at anytime cos you are no heavy duty object, not a punching bag.

I will learn to be more patient, complain less and communicate more.

I will try very hard not to make any comparisons cos everyone is different, each relationship is different.

but when you fall in ♥ with me, you will have to put up with

my endless need for attention, more than what an average girl needs,

the unpredictable PMS-es which sometimes i'm not even aware of,

my random lame-ness and childish antics which might be irritating,

sudden cravings for certain food - mainly desserts,

the love for road trips and getaways,

my 'last-child syndrome',

the tendency of being a perfectionist,

my delusions for fairy tales.

but when that day comes, i'll ♥ you with all my heart, i promise.

yours truly,
your future ♥

2010-09-30T19:45:00.002+08:00

i think...

i have...

a crush on you. *blush*

lols!

♥

nothingness

2010-09-27T23:50:00.001+08:00

random thought provoking nonsense that I've been facinated about.

H A N D M A D E B A B Y S H O E S D I A R Y L A C E H O M E D E C O R I N K E S P R I T B A B Y S T R O L L E R & C O T J U L I O M I C H E L E P H O T O F R A M E S M U S I C A L B O X A N A B E L L E

p/s: I am NOT pregnant. lol!!!

feels like home

2010-09-23T00:16:00.000+08:00

I may have lost you but I've gain a closer bond with your family.

we're now all family =)

running around the house, teasing each other, sharing evil plots, bitching about ppl, sharing silly jokes and every other lame thing.

it would have been crazier than it already is if you were here.

miss you nian.

happy mid autumn festival!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

Danny & Annie

2010-09-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

"you walk in with me, you walk out with me"

watch video here

='(

I loved ...

2010-09-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

it when you pull my toes just to make 'em crack.

how you pinch my chin all the time, trying to elongate my already long shaped face.

you giving me piggyback rides just cos I love 'em.

the way you pretend to be cute each time I don't allow you to bite your nails.

falling asleep in your arms and waking up right next to you eventhough you tend to punch or kick me when you sleep at times.

to irritate you by pulling onto the belt handles of your trousers and pretend to be the cutest jockey you'd ever come across.

to irritate you more by cracking lame jokes and making faces at you when you're trying to have a moment with me, being romantic. but I did loved the way you look into my eyes and gently caress my hair away from my face.

it even more when you try not to wake me up but instead gently plant a kiss on my forehead before you leave the room so that I can continue to sleep soundly like a baby.

just spending all my time with you.

The list goes on but no matter what, all good things must come to an end.

I can never be stronger than what I want myself to be. ='(

2010-09-12T15:07:00.003+08:00

NeYo - Never Knew I Needed

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I had
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see
There was something missing
Ooh yeah

For the ending of my first begin
Ooh yeah yeah
Ooh yeah yeah
And for the rare and unexpected friend
Ooh yeah yeah
Ooh yeah yeah

For the way
You're something that I'd never choose
But at the same time something I don't wanna lose
And never wanna be without
Ever again

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you appeared I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
Now it's so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily
Ever after
Oooh
The way you smile and how you comfort me
With your laughter

I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end
Of every chapter
Oooh

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you appeared I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
Now it's so clear I need you here always

Who knew that I could be
(Who knew that I could be)
So unexpectedely
(So unexpectedely)
Undeniably happy
Sitting with you right here
Right here next to me
Because you're the best

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you appeared I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
Now it's so clear I need you here always

NeYo - Mad

mmm, she's staring at me i'm sitting wondering what she's thinking,
mmm, nobody's talking, cause talking just turns into screaming,
ohh, and now as im yellin' over her, she yellin' over me,
all that that means, is neither of us is listening,
and what's even worse is that we don't even remember why we're fighting.

so both of us are mad for, nothing
fighting for, nothing
crying for, nothing (woah)
but we wont let it go for, nothing
no not for, nothing
there should be, nothing
to a love like what we got, oh baby

i know sometimes its gonna rain,
but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.
girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh no, no, no).

and it gets me upset girl when you're constantly accusing,
asking questions like you already know
we're fighting this war, baby when both of us are losing
this ain't the way that love is supposed to go
what happened to workin' it out?
we fall into this place where
you ain't backin' down
and i ain't backin' down
so what the hell do we do now?

it's all for, nothing
fighting for, nothing
crying for, nothing (woah)
but we wont let it go for, nothing
no not for, nothing
there should be, nothing
to a love like what we got, oh baby

i know sometimes its gonna rain,
but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.
girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh no, no, no).

oh baby, this love ain't gon' be perfect
and just how good its gonna be
we can fuss and we can fight
long as everything's all right between us
before we go to sleep
baby we're gonna be...

ohhhhh

i know sometimes its gonna rain,
but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.
girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you
and i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh no, no, no).

metro talks

2010-09-09T08:32:00.000+08:00

he thinks I must throw it away or he'll help me do it.
but i think i'm going to just leave it there.

he remembered his spaghetti.
while I remembered my Snickers bars - white chocolate and chocolate.

i took all the candy away

2010-08-26T22:16:00.004+08:00

so yes, i've been MIA.

i have my reasons.

i also have plentiful of explaining, reporting and updating to all my dear stalkers out there. lol

but for now, i rather not blog out my emotions and thoughts.

instead, i'm opting to talk it out and spend time with the right people ♥

i'm standing up and i believe i will be able to love another person again.

love is not by chance but by choice. =)

enjoying every bits of life has to offer.

Nick Vujicic

2010-08-13T05:57:00.000+08:00

"and if I fail, I will try again and again and again..."

I Never Told You - Colbie Caillat

2010-08-08T06:56:00.000+08:00

I miss those blue eyes
how you kiss me at night
i miss the way we sleep

like there's no sunrise
like the taste of your smile
i miss the way we breathe

but i never told you what i should had said
no i never told you, i just held it in

and now, i miss everything about you
i cant believe that i still want you
after all the things we've been through
i miss everything about you, without you ohhhh

i see your blue eyes everytime i close mine
you make it hard to see
where i belong to when i'm not around you
its like im not with me

but i never told you what i should had said
no i never told you, i just held it in

and now, i miss everything about you
i cant believe that i still want you
after all the things we've been through
i miss everything about you, without you ohhhh

but i never told you what i should have said
no i never told you, i just held it in

and now, i miss everything about you
i cant believe that i still want you
after all the things we've been through
i miss everything about you, without you ohhhh

the cold weather reminds me of you..

poop

2010-08-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

Eat shit! Makan tahi! Yak si arr!

why am I so prone to harrasments these days?!!

it's haunting me!

trauma trauma trauma!!!!!!!!!!!

chee byee.

a sudden halt

2010-07-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

I need to drop everything for the moment and try to handle this shit.

I'm being stalked, harrased and may potentially be threatened. (you may think it's a lil too dramatic an exaggerated but I'm preparing myself for the worst! something tells me that something is not right and might just turn out bad, you'll understand when I tell you the situation) I don't want to end up hitting the headlines on issues and cases which are currently seen in the newspapers on a daily basis.

I'm worried and scared shit.

but by hook or by crook, I need to solve this problem!

i'm writing you a note.

2010-07-27T19:16:00.010+08:00

it's nice receiving news about someones marriage, how sweet your friend's boyfriend are treating them or how loving seeing an old couple strolling down the park hand in hand. but at the same time it's heartbreaking knowing that i'm not that fortunate enough, just yet.

whereas it feels so scary hearing news about how all kinds of problems start to arise when they just started to continue on with their chapters as husband and wife.

it makes my heart beat in confusion and fear.

but i guess sometimes it's just that leap of faith you'll have to take.

Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind at his back
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set this house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

he still remembered how it was that night.
i still didn't move,
i still hadn't change,
i still stayed the same =(

as when i was, 4 years ago.

she's feeling the pinch

2010-07-24T11:56:00.000+08:00

and the pressure is on!

it's high time to grow up and think beyond her years for a while.

what if plan A fails? what's plan B or C or D?

*gasp*

sigh.

妹,

2010-07-18T19:34:00.000+08:00

what would you have suggested me to do?

姐.

Baby Buhneys!!!

2010-07-14T20:49:00.006+08:00

or watch it here.

Cuteness beyond words

when I get a pet buhney, I'll be naming it baby.

♥

she finally got scolded

2010-07-12T20:49:00.007+08:00

cos he believes it's about time for her to come to her senses so she needs to stop reasoning with herself.

there is no reason for her to cry. she just needs to do what she knows is best for her, just live LIFE happy. =)

anyways, what's new and most talked about? it's none other than the 2010 World Cup. yea, amazingly i watched through the whole final match with a few great company over burgers and juices even though i had work the next morning at 8am! (i nearly missed work from oversleeping! lol) so it was down to Netherlands (NED) and Spain. i was rooting for NED cos i just wanted to go against what PAUL, the "psychic octopus" predicted. me no likey the fact that PAUL chose Spain over Germany for the win in the quarter finals match! (even though the prediction was right) still, a traitor!!!! you were bred and apparently a PR in Germany! you even got your name from a German children's poem - Der Tintenfisch Paul Oktopushow! how could you!!?? LOL so, as expected, i did my part in carrying out MISSION: essen Tintenfisch (hint: it's in German), the very next day after Germany's lost to Spain! well, the mission sidetracked a bit, not the main aim but still under one of the sub-missions.

back to the finals match, i nearly had a cardiac arrest! my heart stopped beating for a second or two each time either one of them tried to score a goal. the match was so intense! and even before half time, i was already pissed with that baldy referee. IMO, he was more concerned on giving out yellow cards than actually supervising the game play and his judgements seem kinda bias. i'm not saying the NED players didnt deserve those yellow cards for those who actually did hurt the Spain players unintentionally or not. but some of the "accidents" arent even their fault! i remember seeing a replay of one of those mishaps which clearly showed that the NED player came in contact with the opposition's upper part of the body, like the arm or something. BUT apparently, the Spain "victim" ended up rolling on the field like the rolie polie olies, with a devastating-worse-than-labour-pain expression on his face while his hands gripped tightly onto his, LEG! the heck?! it didnt happened once okay.. most of the yellow cards given to the NED were from those dramatic acts by the Spaniards! so drama.. like very severe sufferers of ADHD! pfftt. the best actors are found on the field. haahaa

but oh well, it was worth the watch. intensified entertainment!

so now that the World Cup is over, work is going to be hectic! now time to catch up on my sleep.

nights peeps.

lunch break randomity

2010-07-07T13:52:00.003+08:00

i'm alone in the office cos the rest of the staff is attending a meeting with the big boss.

i'm thinking of having a "sinful chocolate day". a day when everyone gathers and indulge on chocolaty desserts which include chocolate mud cake, chocolate lava cakes, fried snickers and mars bars, my g-spot brownies and anything chocolate!!! so who's with me?

Amazingly, Paris Hilton's perfume smells apple-lish like the DKNY apples but even sweeeeter! i smell very huggable today~ lol

syndrome X

2010-07-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

okay, it's high time i update on the past few crazily busy weeks. (warning, excessive photos ahead! credits to various cameras)

first off would be, Sonia darling's homecoming! i cant believe that it's been a year already since she last came home. it's really scary how time flies, everything still felt like it all happened just yesterday. i guess i just dont want to grow up. the faster time flies, the faster i'd have to mature and face the world as a grown adult. but i'll forever be that little Amy at heart. well that, is the downside of being the youngest child - the need for copious amount of attention, pampering and love. but anyways, homecomings always go with partying!

yea, i have a thing for the rocker-chick pose since it goes very well with my bling ;)

on another night of partying, darling & yours truly.

well of course it aint all about partying, i managed to had a great time catching up and having heart to heart talks with my darling by the beach one fine afternoon over fried calamari and french fries ♥ and also for some shopping at island in boxers!

then of course, the usual coffee sessions for gossips and what not.

.. and the laughter over makan session with the rest of the girls and their other halves (if applicable lol). i just cant help but to put up this photo of ming's new japanese tourist boyfriend! konichiwaaaaa~

apart from the wonderful time spent with the girls, work has been fun and yet boring at times. it can get so boring to the point that finding counter names of certain companies listed in the share market somehow became our favourite pastime. lucky for me, i've got a few partners to do lame things at the office. but generally, i love the people there! they're all so nice and fun. there's never a day at work that i dont laugh =)

work during the last week of June was half spent on helping my head of department, Jess's maid of honour to finish up all those little details of her wedding. from checking the table list to tying ribbons on the game cards. (refer to pic above) one thing that was new to me was the wedding vows printed out for the groom. among the 20 commandments of the wedding vows, these are the few which i like:

I will remember that I am your husband and that I love you. I will be kind to you. And I shall not let you wash the toilets.
I will appreciate you more and express it more often.

I will give you 30% of my salaries and bonuses. And I shall bear all your expenses on spa and facial treatments.

I will apologize more often, even if the hurt was unintentional. I know that since we are different people, it will be impossible not to hurt you at times, I will take responsibility, say, "I am sorry" and not accuse you of being overly sensitive.

I will not underestimate the power of small gestures, the special smile, the note, the small gift, the loving word. I will always kiss you every morning and every night before going to bed. ♥

I will make our marriage a priority. I will find some time every day to spend with you alone, for at least a few moments. ♥
I will make every effort to go out with you, when possible, several times a month. I know all relationships need talking and time together. I know that the stronger the marriage, the more stable the family. I will make the effort to have a half yearly oversea trip together.
I will love you with all my heart! ♥

it's sweet and funny in a way. touching and yet hurtful, at least for me. so here are some photos of the wedding day for you all to feast your eyes upon.

the morning when the groom came over to "pick-up" his bride, he had to go through some semi-torturous games. and here you have it, the four pretty ladies with the 4 game cards all ready and waiting to be picked.

you could see the eagerness of the groom to see his bride, with the bridal bouquet in one hand and the wedding vows on the other, signed and witnessed. =)

at the garden wedding ♥

i love her gown! it's corset-like on the back and the details are just so beautiful!

the champagne pouring and toast during the dinner.

qian & i, the bubbly & cheerful angels of OSK. lols!

finally a near complete group photo of the penang dealing department.

i shall stop here first before i bore you all with too many pictures.. more updates soon (that is also if i remember what to update on.. lols) AND as always, much much more photos on fb. so stalk me. lol

toodles.

Shontelle - Impossible

2010-07-05T21:36:00.004+08:00

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did...

aint they pweety? i remembered your words. ♥

so much to update on!

but now since everyone's all footie crazy, i'll have my pick on GERMANY! the reason being? cos got a lot of 'entau bahS'! *grin*

till then,

she needs to do what she thinks is impossible and accepts that some things are just impossible.

2010-07-03T00:44:00.003+08:00

The big baby still cries.

But you have no idea how relieving it is.

2010-07-01T20:41:00.003+08:00

it hurts ='(

but it's time to tend to my brownies.

updates, soon.

2010-06-24T22:04:00.005+08:00

i'm drained. so so drained, both physically and mentally.

i've so much to tell but the long term exposure to changing numbers in traffic light-like colours and cold air somewhat dried my brains.

while some things cant possibly be put into words.

another weekend's here. a busy one this time.

like and dont like it.

urgh.

2010-06-21T21:30:00.008+08:00

some people are just irritating as hell, worse than a hangnail, more than an enormous pain in the ass and definitely more annoying than the endless sound of vuvuzelas!

i'm not interested, I Am Not Interested, I AM NOT INTERESTED AT ALL!!!

this level of annoyance and determination is not cute or at any point considered sweet at all.

i.only.see.desperation.

PUI!

on another note, i just found something that i never knew i had, or at least, forgotten about - an audio cd for the singing competition back in form 6. which apparently starts off with the karaoke version of Mandy Moore's Only Hope followed by Marina McBride's My Valentine, N'Sync's God Must Have Spent A Little More Time and then a whole bunch of classic love songs from the 90's and the early Y2k. the ones which i would have 'em in my dearest iPod shuffle baby when it was still alive =(

talk about how fast time flies, and that scares me.

keep going

2010-06-19T12:21:00.004+08:00

like running the 1500m event. you start off at a steady fast pace, making sure you get a good start cos it's going to be a long run. it's crucial to keep going and maintaining the pace but after a few rounds, your legs start to feel wobbly and tired. you feel drained as you look ahead, pushing yourself very hard to lift your legs one after another, making each step nearer to the finishing line which still isn't in sight. as much as you feel like stopping and giving up, you know you cant. everyone has their hopes up high for you; your trainer, your parents, your friends and most importantly, yourself.

it takes time and work to create success. even the seven wonders of the world weren't built in a day, a month or a year.

now i know how she felt.

Roses

2010-06-17T22:29:00.006+08:00

i cant help but to re-post this from Elaine's blog.

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine", like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still.

Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again.

='(

♥

2010-06-13T11:49:00.004+08:00

Sometimes you just want to go back to crying all day long but u know you can't, cos you're stronger than that.

It's a Sunday morning. Let's make it a meaningful one alright?

=)

i gave my all

2010-06-13T00:44:00.007+08:00

believe it or not, you just know, and it's true. That's why psychics are usually women. Lol

Eric Benet - The Last Time

The first time I fell in love was long ago.
I didn't know how to give my love at all.
The next time I settled for what felt so close.
But without romance, you're never gonna fall.
After everything I've learned;
Now it's finally my turn.
This is the last time I'll fall... in love.

The first time we walked under that starry sky,
there was a moment when everything was clear.
I didn't need to ask or even wonder why,
because each question is answered when your near.
and I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds,
this is the last time i'll fall in love.

Now don't hold back, just let me know.
Could i be moving much too fast or way too slow.
'Cause all of my life, I've waited for this day.
To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I'll never be the same.
You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words.
And now that I've said them, they could never be enough.

As far as I can see, there's only you and only me.
This is the last time I'll fall in love.
Last time i'll fall in love.
The last time i'll fall... in love.

ok, i want this song to slow dance to on my wedding night. lol

anyone else into slow lovey dovey romantic songs? these few are heart-melting too. ♥

Eric Benet & Tamia - Spend My Life
Marc Anthony & Jeniffer Lopez - No Me Ames Balada
Mariah Carey, Baby Face & Kenny G - Everytime I Close My Eyes

2010-06-11T21:44:00.003+08:00

my Mactards and i =)

and now, time to celebrate the start of the world cup. get ready to partay~!

*smooch*

the bells are ringing

2010-06-10T21:07:00.008+08:00

today is by far the most boring day at work! that's the downside of working at an investment bank.. when there's not much trading activity since it's the school holidays now and with the world cup around the corner, there's nothing much to do! because of that, i got pranked by my colleagues >.<>i guess it's not easy to go through years of ups and downs with a particular person, sharing all your life experience growing together as an entity. it's a blessing to be able to make it through and bring the relationship to the next level.

*melts*

Jim Brickman & Tara MacLean - You

I never felt alone
I was happy on my own
And who would ever know there was something missing
I guess I didn't see the possibility
It was waiting all the time
But it never crossed my mind
Till you opened up my eyes
Now all I think about is

You in my life
In my dreams
In my heart I know it's true
That I belong with you
Because of you in my world
In my arms
I have everything and now
I can't imagine what I'd do
Without you

I never thought that love could be
Such a curiosity
But what attracted you to me
Was so unexpected
But it was waiting all the time
And it never crossed my mind
Until you opened up my eyes
Now all I think about is

In my life
In my dreams
In my heart I know it's true
That I belong with you
Because of you in my world
In my arms
I have everything and now
I can't imagine what I'd do
I can't imagine what I'd do
Without you
Without you

2010-06-09T21:23:00.004+08:00

ohh meee goshhh

mom's suggesting i grab those cheap fares to aussie!!!!

ann,

CROSS YOUR FINGERS CROSS YOUR FINGERS CROSS YOUR FINGERS!

cos i'm opting for MELBY!

p/s: dont leave out 'em toes too!!! =P

♥

S03E03

2010-06-08T22:03:00.005+08:00

B. : I want you to have this.
C. : Why.
B. : Cos I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.

"what would you think we would have been like when we're old and grey?"

"still arguing and irritating each other forever as always."

it just makes me laugh, somehow.

wake up! wake up! wake up!

2010-06-07T19:47:00.009+08:00

okay, so finally... about work.

let's see now.. if i can just arrange my memories collectively, first day of work is as always, which i'm sure applies for everyone as well, awkward. a totally new environment, new faces and new things to learn from! the only person i know in that 4-storey building and was also the one who interviewed me, is aparently dear soochie's mom! (i know.. penang can be that small right..) so the first day started off with the introduction tour. sooch's mom took another new staff and i around, introducing us to nearly every staff of all the departments. like how a mother would introduce their son/daughter-in-law to every single relative of the family at a wedding dinner.

"This is Ms. Amy, intern, dealings."

i lost count how many times sooch's mom had to repeat that sentence over and over again. lol after all that hoo-ha, i was then "dropped off" at my department. the place was a havoc! the phone lines kept ringing continously one after another, the staff were all either on the phone or shouting from one end to another for figures, market news can be heard from the televisions tuned to the bloomberg channel and loud chatter on politics and the economy from the elderly were all simultaneously happening! like crazy wei and i was just, lost. but after awhile, i got used to it and fine tuned it to the right decible. so now i dont find it noisy even one bit.. lols

after a few hours when everything settled down, i was then being introduced to each person of the dealings department which only consist of around 15 people. the head of department, Jessline was on leave so they had no idea what to do with me. lol the people there are hilarious and warm =) each one of them actually makes an effort to make me feel comfortable as part of their team. most of them are in their late twenties, pretty ladies and pretty boys as well =.=" where are my small-eyed hotties?! yes i know i'm a sucker for 'em. >.< ANYWAYS, the first week was a whee bit boring cos everyone was busy so i was practically either reading the newspaper or staring into space throughout the day.. and maybe a task or two to send documents to the other departments. but this week so far had been a handful! Jess is back at work and she thought me quite a lot! i've started to make calls to her clients, updating them about the regional market status and all. i've never been any sweeter and friendlier than ever on the phone till now. okay.. maybe i did, at a few points of time in my life. but bottom line, it's an experience. work's kinda P&C so i cant say much. =/ everything's pretty much alright. nothing to complain about just yet, though i'm not very fond of the working hours! 8am to 6:15pm =( but on the brighter side, my lunch break can stretch up to an hour and a half when the KLSE closes for the lunch break! whee~

updates till here aight?

my bed and huggables are calling..

nighteyy =)

Word of the day : TALK

2010-06-06T23:55:00.004+08:00

You can never rationalize with yourself.

An open discussion not only helps you re-evaluate the true nature of an occurance but it also reminds you on which grounds you once stood upon and should continue to stand on..

Thank you =)

P/s: will try to update on work soooon.. Lol

nights peeps!

FYI, I'm still alive

2010-06-02T21:54:00.005+08:00

Haven't been doing much for the first two days of my internship but yet it's draining me dry!

Will update soon in detail on my first day, my workplace and the people..

Till then, the princess sooooo needs her beauty sleep.

Nights peeps.

Idkw I miss you.

2010-05-31T22:27:00.002+08:00

maybe just these days.

it'll be better =)

give time, time.

Artsy Fartsy Party

2010-05-31T02:36:00.004+08:00

a thursday night had never been this crazy.

so i attended the Hennessy Artistry Party which was held at QEII. much thanks to joycey for getting us free passes from the Hennessy contest she won. the event is just like any other red carpet thingy, somewhat like the Smirnoff ManU after party i attended in KL last year, all glam-ed with the event backdrop for you to pose for the row of shutterbugs with their big ass cameras, several interactive booths for mixing alcohol, visual lights and sounds, performances by Summer Daniels & DJ Tempo of Speaker Junkies, Joe Flizzow & Sona One, Ad Bangers (Summer Daniels is just smoking hot! i'd say a younger version of fergie) and most importantly, the free flow of Hennessy all night long! though our normal passes only allowed free flow of drinks till 11pm, their supply of Hennessy for the event went dry by 11:30pm! penangnites are alcoholics or what?

A first for QEII, the place was jam packed! lol it was as if the usual weekly crowd of UPR turned up for the event. so many many many familiar faces all seen in one night! the partying was a lil more Kay-elle style i suppose.. with fusion house mix numbers, a somewhat little different experience but the sucky part would be the sudden stop of electric supply by 1-ish. so we left and gossiped over mamak before heading home.

strike a pose babes

joycey and i

stalk me on FB, more photos there. lols

till then,

internship starts tomorrow =/

toodles.

living in a nutshell

2010-05-29T20:58:00.001+08:00

last monday had been.. well, eventful? i somewhat experienced a summary of the past 10 years of my life in a day.

to be honest, the day didnt started out well. instead, it started out with the worse point of my life. i was woken up at 7-ish in the morning by a phone call from yen, asking if i had received ming's messages but i was too tired the night before to actually realise that ming did sent 2 messages around 2am. the moment i read her messages, i knew something was not right with the first thought in my head - death. millions of flashbacks and thoughts then came rushing to my head. i couldnt function. i just laid down and kept telling myself that it isnt anything serious as i waited for a reply from ming. but deep down at the back of my head, i was somehow convinced that it was news about someones death. ming then confirmed that Noorhasmida, aka bulat passed away in an accident. another accident. flashbacks kept running through my head, like a playback of a recorded video, of the very first moment to the very last hour of the tormenting week of Nian's passing.

Ming, Yen and i then went to the funeral the morning itself. walking in to see her face for the last time was horrible. every step i took as we approached her coffin reminded me of that every step sonia, jien ann and i took as we draw near to Nian's house with our hands held tightly to each others. that heavy hurting feeling in the heart, as if someone had my heart squeezed up like a stress ball, came back again. we didnt stay long and headed to stock on baking needs after dropping yen at MBS. i needed something to take my mind off things. what else better than to do the things that you love?

so i finally bought my green tea powder but ended up baking brownies and dipping strawberries in chocolate, aside from making the green tea konnyaku jellies all in one afternoon. i know.. crazy.. sometimes i just need some pushing to get me going.. baking, sewing, surprises and all used to be for love. now, baking is a passion and also for, business ;)

after the non-stop hustle bustle in the kitchen, it was time to head up to the apartment to get ready for the steamboat gathering of the sixth formers. it was a bit disappointing at first having to prepare for the gathering alone, like a hired organizer. =/ but thankfully, numerous calls came in right on time, offering a hand or two. grocery shopping had never been this entertaining, random and fun. it reminded me on what i love about attending form 6, the endless fun and great company. an initial plan of a steamboat party ended up into a steamboat AND deep fried party. the girls were preparing the food for the steamboat while the boys were testing out their deep-frying skills. for one moment, it was as if i was organizing a "kitchen for dummies" session. lols

foooood

brownieeee

yen & i with the green tea jellies

a group photo for the record

the jellies werent a big hit though.. hmm. i'd say green tea is also another acquired taste. not many actually enjoy it.. but me likey it =) it actually didnt turn out like the kind i had at a japanese restaurant.. that one was amaaazing..

after food was the usual gambling session for the boys and pillow talks for the girls ♥ though the girls only consisted of yen, gini and i, we did a lot of catching up and talking about the good ol' days back in MGS. when stories from different sides were finally told and all sorts of gossips! and most importantly, about my favourite "subject" throughout high school *grins* those were the days ^^

on another note, i've been putting some thought on my baking.. how to put it to good use to fund for my shopping sprees and pampering.. lol and with encouragement and suggestions from yen, i think i'm going to start small, taking it as a part time thingy for the mean time.. so watch out for it on fb alrite =)

they called it, "Amy's G-spot Brownies" hahaaa

made with ♥

2010-05-28T17:28:00.002+08:00

When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time, That's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterwards. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?

That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance. That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, That's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, That's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.

But true love that lasts is truly a choice.

A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: " Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soul mates do exist.

That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.

We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mates is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love...

BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly.

Lee Nian Ning
nianz.blogspot.com

you've been warned

2010-05-23T02:29:00.005+08:00

play with a double bladed knife and you'll feel double the stabbing pain. moral of the story? dont play with knifes.

the stewpit stewpit stewpit things i do. i dont know whether to laugh or to cry at myself, again.

*facepalm*

p/s: Happy Birthday Juls!

the child molester living up to his name =P

when the tables turn

2010-05-21T20:51:00.004+08:00

so it's a mutual understanding in between two individuals which not everyone can tell. i share a couple of these mutual understandings but it doesnt make me any smarter in knowing how to identify one. you dont ask, you wont know. but what not known does not hurt. i shall not satisfy someone's curiosity for the sake of satisfying mine. ;)

but i'm still curious! meh. other people's emotions or how i interpret them are starting to affect me again.. sometimes i just wish that my brains arent that hardworking and rather take a leave or two.. that department has overworked! i cannot afford to pay OT wages to 'em.. =( i just took a whole load off and finally successfully flushed them down the loo.. so be good and stop thinking about non-substantial stuff can? =/

Anyways, the past few days had been pretty random.. from hiking up to 84 to movies and to chilling sessions.. time is passing by so fast that it's only a week and a half till my internship starts! *frowns* i havent even started baking yet! *double frowns* time to stock up on baking ingredients and burn the kitchen down! green tea konnyaku jellies, anyone?

cos she's just ... afraid.

B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams - Airplanes

2010-05-19T00:59:00.006+08:00

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
(wish right now) (wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
(wish right now) (wish right now)

Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin and smashin and crashin
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when youre staring at that phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back
But thats just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel
And they sayin what would you wish for
If you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late
I’m on my way so dont close that gate
If I dont make that then Ill switch my flight
And I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
(wish right now) (wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
(wish right now) (wish right now)

Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Yeah back when I was tryin to get into the subway
And back when I was rappin for the hell of it
But now a days we rappin to stay relevant
Im guessin that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes
Then maybe yo maybe I’ll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call the rap game
And back when aint nobody listened to my mix tape
And back before I tried to cover up my slang
But this is for the Cada, whats up Bobby Ray
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the music that started this shit
So here I stand and then again I say
I’m hopin we can make some wishes outta airplanes?

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
(wish right now) (wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
(wish right now) (wish right now)

I could really use a wish right now
I could really use a wish right now
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
A wish right now
A wish right now

can we?

am loving the chorus to the song.. it just somehow gives me this happy feeling to it. the feeling that there is hope out there.

shooting stars =)

Channel 551

2010-05-18T02:35:00.006+08:00

tonight had been somewhat interesting.. went for duck egg fried koay teow with my mac-tards and talked over dim sum.. aside from the ghey nonsense, among the things we discussed were on music, series and etc which made me ponder and evaluate more about myself. (i see the light.. lols) i come to realise that throughout the past 3 years, i've lost part of my personality.. when i was in a relationship, i somehow unconsciously evolved and moulded myself into someone else.. i'm talking in terms of hobbies, interest and likings to the point where i pushed aside my personal likings and instead adopted the likings of my partner. when it ended, same goes for the interest and likings to most of the things. but the problem would be figuring out where to pick up from then after. =/

you pick up nearly all your partner's interest and likings just so to be closer in hopes for more common grounds for communication. but how often can that certain activity/subject pop up on a daily basis to strengthen your relationship? your liking towards a certain thing because your other half likes it, serves no purpose in your life. you will just be living a life of a weed - a valueless wild plant. where's your backbone girl? where's your own stand? you only sway according to the direction of the wind. someone will come over one day with the pesticide and go, "ddddieee u nuisance~! DDIIIEEEEEEE! muahahahaha" lols

while chilling the other day over Jack Johnson's album made me realised that i used to love his music but then chucked aside cos, it wasnt to the boyfriend's liking/taste. my taste in music now is like, seriously boring. i only listen to what that is played on the radio.. no more Jem, Garbage, Jimmy Eat World, Switchfoot, The Rasmus, My Chemical Romance etc... all forgotten. even my all time favourite japanese band, L`Arc-en-Ciel.. chucked and abandoned in the back of the garbage dump. well, at least i'm back to James Morrison.. =) *shrugs*

an even more obvious thing would be none other than, blogging. oh well, slowly picking back up from where i last dropped off.

photo of the week with the mac-tards:

the perfect combination

May thus far

2010-05-12T21:38:00.003+08:00

-WARNING : long post ahead-

it has been 3 weeks since i'm back from uni! feels good to be home! =) i kicked start the month of May with a part time weekend job to get myself back in tuned to the working life and also to fill my pockets! $$$ so, the job was to get people to take the free BMI test and also obviously to promote the company's product. (see pic below for more details) one word of advise for everyone out there, please please please for goodness sake, dont buy/drink anything from those electric freezing dispensers. the ones with a churning plate in the middle, stirring the drinks throughout the whole day. you have no idea how dirty it actually is! yucks!

yen & i

and oh! i dont like the uniform especially the puffed up sleeves.. sooo wrong i tell you.. makes me look even 'puffed' up =/ me likey the scarf though, cos it reminds me of my choir days ♫ i actually prefer to promote property than other products because there isnt a quota to fill and your potential customers are actually scaled down. but sadly, i lost my contacts =( oh well, i did enjoyed my days working with Jen for Sunway =)

well, out of all the part time jobs i've had, i can now conclude that, may it be promoting real estates or milk powder, i attract freaks! =.=" dont think i wanna elaborate more on the freakish encounters. bottom line, freak-magnet alert! (ask me in person and i shall entertain you with my stories. LOL) no wonder my seniors always had this impression that i'm like some protected endangered species that should be kept at home! hahahaha i'm serious! that was the exact translation of what they said in mandarin. whatever that i know or can do somehow amuses the people/friends in university..

when i say, i bake
they give me this look, O.o
while when i say, i do house chores
as predicted, O.O
if i continue on by saying that, i ride the bike,
that's when i get the longest unbelievable 'RRRRRRrrrrrrreeeEEEaaaaAAAAAALLLLLllyyyYYYYYYYYY???????' ever! as if i just told u that i like to go out commando like how Britney does it ;) LMAO

it's like i'm from a circus or a carnival. Now, behold~!

*drum roll*

AMY, the freak.

applause la can or not.. hahaa..

ANYWAYS, now for some bits and pieces of my birthday week.

xiao mei & i, len shen & i, my adorable khim & i
a few of my unimates were around in Penang so they took me out for lunch at a small restaurant in Gurney (i forgot the name.. lol) pretty nice place.. i like the decorations but it's a little overly done. the food? ok larr but a whee bit pricey for the pretty simple food they serve. we then head off to red box and i had a bit of my screaming session working, though most of the songs chosen were mandarin ones.. =/ but still, enjoyable =) at the end of that day, they surprised me with a gift and a slice of oreo cheesecake hidden in my car.. =) a toy schnauzer doggy which i thought was a koala bear at first from the colour of it. lol

i spent the whole week with yen, hopping from one mall to another, hunting for a maxi dress, shoe shopping and got my nails painted - French manicure as always =) a week of blissful pampering, but the most exciting part of my week was the first few beginning hours of my day! i got home from a midnight movie and found a Country Hide paper bag on my dressing table.

hmm.. a gift from brother dearest.. that's rare.. so i was expecting something leathery since that's the only thing Country Hide sells.. from the size of the package, maybe a wallet? a small purse? the eager me then quickly unbound the ribbon off and opened the paper bag. there was this transparent casing, like those old radio cassette tape boxes, only bigger wrapped round with another blue ribbon tied nicely into a bow. my head totally could not register what it was so i took it out and stared at it for a few seconds. when it finally hit me, i realised it was...

an iPod Touch!!!
the thing that i have been bugging and pestering my brother for the past 2 weeks! (though i did mention and bugged him awhile about it before more than a year ago.. lol) knowing my brother's nature and all, i never actually expect him to buy it for me. but being the annoying younger sister, it is my nature to enjoy pestering and bugging him about something, may it be stupid or not! =P words cannot describe how damn happy i was the moment i realised it was my long-awaited touchy! whee~

me ♥ my brother to bits!

korkor dearest & i, 2007
though the rest of the day was a bit screwy - a lot of last minute plan cancellations and all =/, thankfully, on-the-spot plan Bs' turn out pretty well.. had lunch with yen and ekun instead, dinner with mum and bro at Cititel and chilled with a few good company at night.. i guess like what they say, the higher your expectation, the greater the disappointment. in which i couldnt agree more.. my brother's present is by far the only thing that has ever really caught me by surprise and the feeling is just, priceless =)

the next day was then spent over at the lee's.. talked loads over lunch and hanged around the house playing with the dogs..

naughty bubu and big boy charlie

a week nicely spent with close ones =)

eek! i'm 23 now =/

cos, it's just complicated.

2010-05-10T19:55:00.002+08:00

"Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more."