the sister i never had

i have always been the timid one,
the more soft n quiet one,
whereas u were the stronger one,
confident n outspoken..
u were smarter in all subjects,
while i was only better in math
u'd always missplace ur stuff
when it's all right under ur nose
n i'd always find it for u..
i was the class monitor n u were the class treasurer
i had to force our classmates to pay up or come up with more harsh class rules cos u didnt like to demand money from the others..
i'd always sing u a verse from the nike ad when u're facing any problems
while u would always knock sense into my head..
u'd always protect me from harm n being pushed around
while i'd console n listen to ur complaints..
we complement each other just like the cup and saucer
nothing would have been perfect without you.
nothing will ever be the same without you.
though i try to stay strong for you,
but i always end up doing otherwise
for you were my pillar of strength,
you were n always will be my lil mei mei.

we used to spend hours talking about food, boys, school, stupid exams n shopping!
u'd tell me through msn of all the things u had bought.. from skirts to shoes to accessories n said u'll show them to me once you get back to pg..
u promised u'll cook me a feast n feed me up when i get back for the chinese new year holidays..
i promised i'll bring u out to practise driving cos ur mom wont let u drive out alone..
we were supposed to play paintball, bake cookies, go shopping n do so much more things together. there's so much i've yet to tell you, so much to look forward to in the future.. u've always imagined me being the petite housewife baking upside-down pineapple cakes for my kids, ever since i wrote that essay in form5.. while i remembered u would want dogs rather than having kids when u're marrried..

i wish i had been given more time with you though i know u're now in a much better place,
i wish u didnt had to go, call me selfish or whatever i need you here, mei mei..
but whatever i do, it'll never bring u back.

i miss u very much, more than u can ever imagine..

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER

cheche