February 06, 2010

the water buffalo

as the years pass by, i finally really understand the meaning to the phrase, "life is a never-ending learning process". it's not just about the knowledge you gain from books or from people and the experiences but also about getting to know yourself better, learning to know who you truly are. looking back, i remembered i was always a "lost" child, always having uncertainties to who i really am. i used to find it difficult to fill in those 'about me' sections in autograph books (during primary & secondary school.. lols) or in anything that requires me to do so. what more an 'about me' essay. haha. i would usually end up writing the usual common stuff like, "happy, honest, hardworking.. etc" which i never actually put to thought whether it really describes me or not back then.

as you start to grow up and mature, you start to learn more about your strengths and weaknesses. every detail to it gets clearer as you experience life's obstacles and challenges. it's part and parcel of growing up. i've learned that you can never change who you are but you can always learn how to make up for your weaknesses. some people see me as a strong and confident person. but in truth, i'm still the weak, passive, emotional girl i've always been. i'm still learning to be and stay strong no matter what the circumstances may be. no doubt nian's passing has made me learn to deal with acceptance and my emotions. but clearly, i havent mastered it all quite yet.

i still pour every now and then but it's just who i am. like the energizer bunny which is built to last, i'm built to cry instead. nevertheless, i will have to make sure the very next day would be a better one. i've been through it twice before and i will make it through again.

mummy said, "hurt is just a feeling and it will fade."

i got this from my cousie's pm:

"When God take something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

and also like what ming says, "the best has yet to come!"

i will make it through the rain =)

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