one month and counting

Still missing you dearly..

Days haven’t been the same.

I was looking forward to going over to your place on the third day of this year’s Chinese New Year like how it has been for the past few years when you were back in penang.

I was looking forward and hoping to give u a surprise visit in Sydney sometime in May so we can celebrate our birthdays together like how we used to during high school.

I was looking forward to your baking session and the feast you promised to prepare for me and make me fat again.

I was looking forward to bringing you out to practise your driving when I’m back for the CNY holidays since u were very excited that you could finally drive though you had your license for a few years already.

there's so much that i look forward to ever since you got back from aus. i miss spending time having fun n doing nonsense or even just lepak around doing nothing with you. i miss being the one looking over your stuff for you, telling you not to do things which you shouldnt do but yet do it for the fun of it n to satisfy your curiosity. i just miss you.

If your demise was partly for me to learn to be stronger, to have the courage to talk to strangers, to meet more people n make new friends, and not to be so apathetic anymore, I’d rather not have all these opportunities or change than to loose you.

Growing up for the rest of the remaining years of mine without you will be hard.
I always picture all of us reminiscing about all the ups and downs we had been through, all the nonsense we did in school and the memories we’ll have when we grow older. I cant believe the last chirstmas eve was the last time we’ll ever talk about our high school ‘adventures’ together as partners, best buddies, n sisters.

But I’m still glad I did spent my last Christmas with you, and that you had a chance to know more about merv and so did he. I just wish that we had more chances to hang out together, for movies, food, shopping n just lepak-ing – just the 3 of us.

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The past weeks had been very hectic, I’m still actually busy with more assignments and upcoming exams. Just had a quiz and 2 exams yesterday.. 2 more on the way.. 3 more assignments to due soon after finishing 3 during the past 2 weeks. But yet, I choose to do nothing today. Exams and assignments aren’t the only thing that’s bothering me now.
What’s worst is I lost the charm bracelet Nian and Ann gave me for my 18th birthday! @!#$%&* out of all things.. i don't even know where i dropped it. went for dinner, got back to continue studying n just before i go to bed, i finally realized that it was no longer on my wrist.. someone probably picked it up cos i've search everywhere n retraced all my steps but just cant find it. ARGH!

going to put up a notice in merv's n my hostel in hopes that someone actually finds or have already found it. if someone comes up to me with the bracelet with the intention of keeping the bracelet for themselves in the first place, if not for the reward of RM100 that i'm offering, SHIT U.

need to get back to studying. sigh.

love u nian.

moved

my old blog doesnt seem to want me anymore. it doesnt want to show my recent posts even though i've published them countless of times. neither is Blogger doing anything about it.

after 4 years of showering you with words n giving u new colourful template designs.. u choose to give me the cold shoulder?? or more than that, ignoring me?? why?? well, i only stopped blogging for about 7 months... it's not like i totally abandoned you.. what's wrong??

now i'll have to edit my template again.

ugh.

i don't have time.. stupid assignments pillling up like, what i'd always say, "shit pilling up in the sewers" =) which are are due very soon!! NOoo.. and to add more urine in the sewers, my mid-semester exams are in a week's time.. it's not like i'm really procrastinating on my work.. i just don't have time.. T_T i'm no superwoman.. even if i am, doesn't a superhero get a day off?

ever since i got back, it's been a routine of lectures, assignments, meetings, food then sleep.. though i've gotten used to being back here in uni for the last semester, this time just isn't the same.. after all that had happened, i don't know if i've grown to become stronger or weaker.. though i knew nian always wanted me to be the former, yet it's harder when she isn't around. but still, i'll try my best n hope she'll be proud watching us all from above.

anyway, gotta go get food n continue with my assignments..

love u nian.

we need your support!

http://www.petitiononline.com/buscrash/petition.html

Please help sign n pass this petition around. let's not have anymore lives taken away from us just like that due to other ppl's irresponsibility n negligence. it isn't fair. do your part n help put all this to a stop.

for further details, please go to :

http://www.buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/

Chung Lern and Nian Ning’s families would like all families and friends of the victims, dead or alive, in the Slim River Bus Crash to come forward and join them in taking action against the bus company. Stand up to seek justice for these three innocent individuals, who were all so young and full of life.

If you have a blog, please call out to ANYONE who knows someone who survived or did not survive the crash to come forward to join the Lee family.

Make a huge difference, make a huge fuss.

For now, you may contact Lee Chung Lern at chunglern@gmail.com or preferably on his handphone at 012-6670368.

the sister i never had

i have always been the timid one,
the more soft n quiet one,
whereas u were the stronger one,
confident n outspoken..
u were smarter in all subjects,
while i was only better in math
u'd always missplace ur stuff
when it's all right under ur nose
n i'd always find it for u..
i was the class monitor n u were the class treasurer
i had to force our classmates to pay up or come up with more harsh class rules cos u didnt like to demand money from the others..
i'd always sing u a verse from the nike ad when u're facing any problems
while u would always knock sense into my head..
u'd always protect me from harm n being pushed around
while i'd console n listen to ur complaints..
we complement each other just like the cup and saucer
nothing would have been perfect without you.
nothing will ever be the same without you.
though i try to stay strong for you,
but i always end up doing otherwise
for you were my pillar of strength,
you were n always will be my lil mei mei.

we used to spend hours talking about food, boys, school, stupid exams n shopping!
u'd tell me through msn of all the things u had bought.. from skirts to shoes to accessories n said u'll show them to me once you get back to pg..
u promised u'll cook me a feast n feed me up when i get back for the chinese new year holidays..
i promised i'll bring u out to practise driving cos ur mom wont let u drive out alone..
we were supposed to play paintball, bake cookies, go shopping n do so much more things together. there's so much i've yet to tell you, so much to look forward to in the future.. u've always imagined me being the petite housewife baking upside-down pineapple cakes for my kids, ever since i wrote that essay in form5.. while i remembered u would want dogs rather than having kids when u're marrried..

i wish i had been given more time with you though i know u're now in a much better place,
i wish u didnt had to go, call me selfish or whatever i need you here, mei mei..
but whatever i do, it'll never bring u back.

i miss u very much, more than u can ever imagine..

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER

cheche